The leaves fall on the floor, that becomes so colorful and beautiful, the weather is warm and it’s a sunny day. She just stays in the middle of the road looking at that beauty, forget for a seconds the crazy routine of people, admiring what nature can do and transmit.
After a minutes, the heavy on her shoulders back and she just wants to go to her room and cry. She runs trying to hold back the tears of memories. Beside the urge to relieve her feelings, she’s finally in her safe place. Is just a bad day, like the others, but will pass because in the future there is hope…?
“Why are you crying?
Because I need to relieve my heart of this pain. There are days that is too hard put a smile on my face and just pretend that everything is fine, when in my head is a war between brain and heart.
Keep calm it will pass.
Probably will pass when I won’t have more tears but then the feeling will hide and wait for other occasion. I will rise myself again, like the others times, is just exhausting ignore the fears and don’t make films in my head.
I know, but you need to get over it.
I keep telling me that every day, is just another bad day, tomorrow will be better, but the time is passing. I grow up, but I still need some care, some support. I’m strong but not that strong because I’m too emotional in certain occasions and that ruin me.
Don’t think like that, I’m here for you, you’re not alone.
Is just the reality, life isn’t easy but I’m still alive. I’m still fighting for an uncertain future, fall and rise over and over again. There are good days, but in the most I just survive appreciating the little pleasures of life, look for the world outside and daydreaming without an end.
Daydreaming is good, at least you’re not thinking on the others things.
It feels good, but is always dangerous because I create expectations. I still need you to make me come down to reality, to tell me that my fears are stupid, that I will have my opportunities too. Oh fuck, and I’m crying again, this hole in my chest, I don’t know how to deal the feeling of missing you.
Don’t worry, you can do that, you’re stronger than you think.
I appreciate that! I’m just fear that I’m not enough for nothing, but I know that I have value, these feelings are so strange. I just want to sleep to avoid the reality or hear your voice.”
She will be fine and survive to another day, she can cry but know that need to get up no matter the pain, put the mask again and wait for another moment with him.