Silly girl, you need to face it.
You can't keep crying forever, the world is outside, not in your room waiting for his message or call. He's gone and is living without you, you stay, feeling miserable and sad, but you are so much strong than all the bad feelings that it brings.
Unconsciously, you already create your safe wall, the two personalities so gives them use. You're starting to understand who you are and what are capable of, let the rational part guide you and push the sentimental part for to the dark corner once again.
Be strong to accept the facts, you need him and love him, but you're by yourself because life suck's and you need to keep doing, no matter what it hurts... Keep the faith close to the heart, and let the dreams and emotions go.
You're already in the downhole, alone so let's be the darkness and just let it go.
"Figure out the rest on your own"