Healing is a beautiful word. The journey of learning how to love ourselves is appealing. The main character of life, the simplicity in enjoying the moments, cram in gratitude. The silent and slow mornings. Coffee dates alone, reading, being in nature, dress up to feel good, time to give pleasure, romantic baths, hot tea and chocolate, healthy meals, listen to music, journaling, meditate, move the body, petting the pet, work on the hobbies. Radiant energy. In those times, is calm, is comfy, is peaceful, is right, is worth it. However, that is romanticizing, also important.
The reality is to wake up every morning and do the mental list for the day, do healthy meals, make space for alone time, talk to yourself to do self-care, to exercise, to write, to go out of the house, to go work and deal with the time of travels, get home and do chores, take care of the pets. Is also to make yourself uncomfortable, push limits, work on the shadow part, set boundaries, being dynamic in relationships, through the pain, the low mood.
In this half-term is wavering. Lessons that come in all the forms and signs, facing the struggles of frustration, sadness, lethargy, stress. The need to set boundaries, to restart, to continue forward with the bag full, deal later with emotions. The hardest is to not fall into the spiral of the good girl syndrome, people's pleasure that caused so much pain. Understanding that the body and mind have limits and respect them is not always easy, because that is avoiding it. Doing the work that is possible with half of the energy. Face the flaws.
For so much light, it also exists the darkness. A non-stop mind drowning in repetitive thoughts, fears, insecurities, anxiety. Especially, when the triggers happen. Taking care of the child and the adult, that although is healing, is still hurt and the wounds take time and patience to become softer. The mind enters in a loop of words that hurt, the wound is unclenching due to the need to face the reality and admit it is terrifying and a sensation of putting all the main character work under the rug. Disassociating, apathy, dullness, inability to relax and rest, numb.
Looking at the emotions and the past often hurts. But the grief, wounds, needs, ancestral patterns, fear are too heavy and not problems to feed. All the work of building the house, put comfort in the home, nurture the temple, loving you is the reward. There will always be good and bad times.