The brain is so incredible and messy, at the same time. Emotions, feelings, rational thought. Is so fucked up what the mind see and then what tells you. What you feel inside and how the body behaves on the outside.

How much the hormones influence the brain, the emotions. How much the brain will be influenced by the emotions and the external stimulus.

Feeling so depressive after bleeding (the post pms that no one still talks about it), more having the trauma again in the body from medical procedure, having medication that takes me months back on balancing hormones and energy the in the body. It gave so much frustration, anger, hurts the self and brings the wounds of the inner child. 

However, at the same time pull all that inner strength or the usual coping mechanism of mask's. Looking in the mirror and feeling myself. "I feel good, you're ok, good outfit looks really cute. You are you with the flaws, the qualities, the feelings, the emotions at the top of the skin and deep in the heart. 

The anxiety rising, the heart beating faster, the body starting to feel weak. The non stop thoughts, ending up overthinking and overreaction, manic episodes comes. Until the body feels safe or exhausted from the flight and fight mode. 

Being back in a journey of self acceptance and love (working on the writing, the mindfulness, accepting the shadow) is rising all, for the good and for the bad.