Being around people makes me forget all the "saudade". But that also requires giving my energy and time. I love the agitation, noise, plans at the moment, live in the present, and be present. But I need my space. Be on my own. Recuperate my energy, be quiet, assimilate and connect with myself. But in that space, anxiety and panic attacks appear. The body starts to react, fatigue, the feeling of unwellness, hard breathing, heart rate going fast, stomach pain, tears.
It's been a rollercoaster more than usual. That is having an impact on my mental health. Changes all of sudden, many roads to go, plans starting, news that makes my heart small. I'm dealing at my own speed and the best way I can find at this moment.
Stop, breathe, looking around. Go to bed and just be quiet. Giving love to myself, connect with my spirituality. Just be, respecting all the effects that my body is feeling.
Soon the panic will pass. Over the hours the anxiety will slow down. But is so distressing...